“I’m still waiting,” she typed when one of our FB group members asked how everyone’s year was going so far. I thought it an odd response. What was she waiting for? Then I noticed about 20 more people typed the same thing. “I’m waiting too,” said one guy. “Me too,” said another member. I could tell by the ensuing back and forth that they were waiting for the year to get good, or to turn around. This was a foreign concept for me. How do things become amazing by just sitting around waiting for them to change?
Granted, some things take time, for instance if you have had a surgery and you need time to heal before you are back to your normal self. I had surgery on my foot once. It was hideous. I couldn’t walk on it for over a month afterward. I couldn’t wear a shoe for eons. It was utterly painful. I didn’t just sit around waiting for it to heal, however. I saw my herbalist who gave me a concoction of Chinese herbs that tasted so bad they literally came back up on their own every time I tried to swallow them. “Stop being such a wimp,” she barked at me when I explained I couldn’t keep them down. She told me my foot would heal much faster if I drank this elixir that tasted like it came from an elephant’s ass and so I did (and IT probably did). I also got acupuncture. I read 15 books on my time off from work. I watched all the movies I was dying to see like Kramer vs. Kramer, True Grit (the original) My Fair Lady, and so on- pretty much all the movies no one else wanted to watch with me. Instead of feeling defeated since I couldn’t walk I felt more accomplished than ever when it was all said and done. I wasn’t going to let 10 stitches and a titanium rod slow me down.
I learned early on as a child that if you want any scrap of happiness in this life you have to seize it. Somewhere in the depths of my soul I knew I deserved to be happy, which is odd when I look back now because most people around me during those years were the opposite of happy. I’m not sure where that determined spirit came from but it has continued to grow. I have learned the hard way that no one cares about my happiness as much as me. Not even close.
Most people stay stuck in unfortunate circumstances out of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change. Fear of being on their own. Fear of failure. Fear of success (still don’t know what that is, entirely). Fear of hard work. I know more than one person struggling for money that won’t even consider a second job. Why not? I have had 2-3 jobs for as long as I can remember, often while going to school. One year I made an extra 30k from my second job and was able to do some great traveling AND buy my first pair of Jimmy Choos. Magenta, suede, peep-toe Jimmy Choos. A far cry from the shoes with holes in the toes I grew up with as a kid, often crying when snow got in them since we were too poor for snow boots. I was determined to not carry on the curse of being poor- so poor that my mom had us praying to Jesus weekly for milk and eggs. I was over the moon when we would get the large gallon of milk, sometimes from church, and I’m sure I drank most of it. It made me happy.
If something is making you unhappy in your life CHANGE IT. It might be uncomfortable. It may cause tears. Those things are real but temporary. Chronic unhappiness is long-lasting and will slowly suck the life out of you until you have zero energy left to even think about changing- you will just be slogging to get through the day. And if you already find yourself there that sucks but it’s still not too late. Devise a plan and take small steps. I normally tell people baby steps are for babies but if that is all you can handle it’s better than doing nothing at all- or worse playing Candy Crush or bingeing on Netflix eating pita chips while your life is passing you by. You deserve more than that. You deserve the life of your dreams. You’re just gonna have to show up for yourself.
Remember these things:
• Your life is directed by your thoughts. Guess who is in control of your thoughts???
• “Be tougher than your life is.” -Tony Robbins
• According to K.M Gramlich, “Life Begins At the End of Your Comfort Zone”
• Fear and faith take the same amount of energy. May as well choose faith
• Turn your lemons into lemonade- everyone is doing it these days, including wealthy pop stars!
• And most importantly….
BE A PERSON YOU CAN COUNT ON